


you're kind of an ass (i like you anyways)

by teddy_or_something



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, I hate that I wrote this, I meant for this to be longer, but it's funnier if you imagine it as a 13 and 15 year old running coffee shops, but this is what you got, i also used your personas for the descriptions, like seriously, this is fuckin cheesy actually, you're technically aged up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddy_or_something/pseuds/teddy_or_something
Summary: A rival coffee shop moves in across the street from Jello's (quite literally named "Jello's"), and Jello really doesn't like the owner (also, why does she have to be so goddamn hot?).Alternative title: jello and val are both assholes but they are assholes who were made for each other
Relationships: jello | jellomp4/val | val_kurry
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	you're kind of an ass (i like you anyways)

**Author's Note:**

> I hate the fact that I wrote this but it was fun and y'all are fun and I was in the mood to write some crack. Hope you enjoy this, you fuckers. 
> 
> (actually I love both of you tho)

Jello is really not that much of an ass. 

...majority of the time, at least. Any of his customers will tell you that he’s a really nice guy, and his friends will say that too. He’ll even tell you that on a good day, and on a bad one, he’ll tell you that it’s usually true. And it is. Jello truly is a really nice guy, usually. 

That being said, this was not a usual case. 

A coffee shop had just opened up across from him. Normally, one would be ecstatic about that news. “A coffee shop right across from my house?” they would say. “Sounds like heaven!” That’s a reasonable response, and under normal circumstances, Jello would be having that response as well. As it stood, however, a coffee shop was the last thing Jello wanted across from his house, seeing as he lived right above a coffee shop-- the one that he owns. Jello’s. Now you see the predicament that he was in. 

His mood steadily worsened as he watched the shop owner set up for the day, oblivious (or perhaps not) of his inner turmoil. The shop owner was short, perhaps even shorter than him, with long black hair bleached blonde at the ends and a face that could’ve been on the front of several magazines. She was wearing a pink sweater over a white shirt, which was tucked into a white skirt. On her legs were, Lord have mercy, _thigh high socks,_ and to top it all off, she had on bunny ears. Saying that she was pretty would be an understatement. She was… absolutely gorgeous.

However, despite her good (great, amazing, _superlative_ ) looks, she was still on his territory. Jello’s patience lasted for about a week before he finally cracked and visited Kurry Love to explicitly express his disdain. 

When he arrived, he took a moment to examine the place. It was very pink and preppy inside, quite the opposite of his own green and black themed shop. Up at the counter, the baristas wore fuchsia aprons and bunny ears, and among them, the owner of the shop herself stood taking orders. Jello stalked over to the counter with his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, determined to get her to leave. 

“Uh, hi, you’re new here, right?” he asked when he reached the counter. A quick glance at her nametag told him that her name was Val. Cute.

Val smiled at him. “Yep! Just moved in,” she said. “What would you like?”

“For you to leave.”

Val’s demeanor changed instantly, friendly disposition immediately hardening to a chilling anger as she glared at him. “You must be Jello from across the street,” she said, turning around to grab a steaming cup of water resting near the coffee machine. When she faced him again, her friendly smile was back on her face. “You have three seconds to leave before I launch this at you.”

So that was that. 

Two years later, their shops have become sort of a joke in the town. People pick sides as if they were debating about sports teams or whether pineapple belongs on pizza. “I’m heading to Jello’s,” they’d say, and someone would reply with “Jello’s? Weak, I prefer Kurry Love.” It’s somewhat of an anomaly to like both. 

Two years has also not mended the relationship between the two shop owners. It’s quite the contrary, actually; they hate each other. Jello can recall going out one day and seeing Val watering her flowers.

“Hello Val-Kurry," he calls out to her. 

She looks away from her plants to raise an eyebrow at him. “My last name isn’t Kurry.”

Jello smirks. “Yeah,” he says, “I just call you that to remind myself that you're just as annoying to me as your shop.” The glare Val sends him is almost as cold as the water she sprays him with from her hose. She doesn’t even spare him a faux “oops, my bad” before heading back inside. 

Another time, Jello has multiple different people wander into his shop asking for Jell-o. He storms into Val’s shop after the fifth person, knowing that she could be the only possible explanation for this. 

“Why did a group of people just come into my shop asking for cherry Jell-o?" he asks with a glare. 

She just smiles at him. “They were a bit confused as to what you sold over there, so I told them that it's just as the name suggests." 

Jello narrows his eyes. "What if I told people that you sold curry here?" 

“Where have you been for the past couple of years?” she asks him with a look that screams ‘you’re an idiot.’ “I _do _sell curry here, dumbass. Get out." He has people coming in asking for Jell-o for nearly a month after that.__

____

____

Jello’s having a pretty good day today, though. Business isn’t too fast or too slow, he remembered to eat breakfast this morning, and, best of all, he hasn’t seen Val’s (admittedly, pretty) face once today. Of course, all good things must come to an end.

It’s eleven in the evening and he’s closing up shop when Val comes banging on his window, begging to be let in. He briefly debates leaving her out there before deciding that it would be too cruel. She looks pretty scared, constantly looking back as if someone’s chasing her. He opens the door for her, locking it back up once she gets inside.

Despite her evident fear, Jello is quite annoyed that his perfect day was ruined. “What the hell could you possibly want right now when I’m about to close?”

Val looks up at him while holding her stomach. “A guy- a guy tried to grab me. I ran out of the back so he couldn’t see where I was going.”

And none of your employees were there to help you?” he scoffs.

She shakes her head. “I gave them the rest of the day off since it wasn’t very busy.”

Jello just shakes his head at her before turning to head upstairs to his apartment. Halfway there, he notices her following him. “What are you doing?” he asks.

You weren’t seriously planning on leaving me down there all night,” she says, disbelief evident in her tone. And he _was,_ actually, but that would be kind of a dick move, so he just continues walking to his apartment, leaving the door open behind him. He hears the soft click of it closing a brief moment after.

He heads to the kitchen and Val stands awkwardly, watching the floor. “Val, sit down,” he says. Her eyes shoot up to look at him before she makes her way over to the couch and takes a seat. They’re silent as Jello works in the kitchen with a practiced hand, and he heads over to her a few minutes later and hands her a cup of strawberry milk tea.

“Thank you,” she says, peering up at him curiously. “This is my favorite.”

He nods and sits down next to her on the couch, refusing to admit that he’s watched her enough to know what her favorite drink is. “The guy, was he a stranger?”

“Yes,” she says. “He actually asked me out, but I refused. That’s when…” she trails off.

“Yeah.” He shifts in his spot to face her. "It’s weird, though. I would’ve thought that a girl like you would be jumping at the chance to get a hot date.” He gestures to her miniskirt.

Val furrows her eyebrows at him. "Don't call me a hoe, you hoe," she says. It’s about two seconds before they start laughing.

When they finally calm down, Val smiles at him, taking a sip of her tea. "Anyways, I only have eyes for one person."

Jello’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. "Hm? The heartless Val-Kurry is in love?"

“I'm not heartless just because I wouldn't move my shop," she says in exasperation.

Jello smirks. "You are." 

“Am not”

“Are.”

“Am not.”

“Are.”

Am _not_ \- shut up,” she says, cutting him off before he can reply. “Seriously, though, Jello, I'm not some kind of playgirl." His breath hitches as she reaches out to cup his cheek. "I- Jello, I really like you."

Jello blinks at her. And then blinks again. Then he runs a hand through his long green hair before smiling. “Of course you do. I'm amazing, Val."

“Asshole,” says Val, or at least Jello thinks that's what she said, but the word is muffled against his lips, so he can’t hear it clearly. Val relaxes into the kiss, scooting closer to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders. His hands make their way to her waist, resting there softly.

When they part, Jello reaches up to push a lock of hair out of her face. “Since when did you start lusting after my sexy ass?" he asks.

Val smiles. "I should be asking _you_ when _you_ started lusting after _my_ sexy ass."

Jello makes a show of looking her up and down. "Yeah, you are pretty sexy," he admits.

Val smirks and kisses him again, and he pulls her close, never wanting to let her go (even if she did steal half of his business).

**Author's Note:**

> This actually happened I witnessed it with my own two eyes.


End file.
